If the past year of my life has taught me anything, it is the importance of cultivating an authentic, real relationship with God.
To say it's been an eventful year would be an understatement.
Chris and I got engaged last July, followed by three months of being continents apart. I said goodbye to the life I had built in Hawaii, transitioning from full time ministry back to life at home in Canada. All the while experiencing the excitement and, lets be honest, stress of planning a wedding and preparing to move to a totally different country.
If you would have told me 2 years ago that this would be my life, I would've laughed and said you're crazy. But here I am, experiencing it all first hand.
As exciting as all of those things are, it has taken me on a roller coaster of emotions. And i'm not talking 'It's A Small World'- more like 'California Screamin' with high high's, low low's, unexpected drops and loops along the way. I wouldn't have it any other way because through it all I have learned how to press in + stay close to a God who invites us to settle into the refuge of His wing.
About a year ago, the Holy Spirit began to reveal to me that I had believed a lie that emotions are bad. It had become ingrained in my subconscious thinking that every time I felt sad, angry, fearful, dissapointed I had two options- A) Sweep it under the rug, forgetting it all together or B) create distance from God until I dealt with the emotion on my own.
Emotions aren't bad. Emotions are what make us human. God created us with emotions- he created us to feel deeply, to empathize, to experience. It's what we choose to do with those emotions that determines the outcome- either sending us running in opposite direction from God or allowing the raw emotion to bring us closer than we've ever been before.
Mark 14 brings us to the garden of Gethsemane where we see Jesus, in all His humanity, come face to face with the reality of the cross.
Experiencing emotions like anger or disappointment is not a sign of weakness. Aknowledging these feelings is actually an incredible sign of strength. It is what will bring ultimate healing in our hearts.
You know those light bulb moments? The ones that cause your head knowledge to suddenly become a deep, transformational revelation in your heart? I had one of those about a year ago, while listening to a podcast from Melissa Helser where she talked about pressing into God in the midst of hard emotions instead to running from him.
Aknowldeging our emotions will bring healing
Jesus us giving us permission to FEEL
Jesus us giving us permission to FEEL